The Princess

Sometimes, in my head, I decribe things with Native American-sounding names, I dont't know why. I've always been told that we have a lot of Indian blood in the family, maybe that's it. Or maybe it's just very descriptive. Anyway, 'The Princess' walks into the living room, having just woke up.

"Good morning, sweetie. Go potty real quick and I'll get you a sippy cup. Is the baby awake too?"

"No," she tells me.

"Ok, well hurry up and go potty, and either Daddy or I will get you a sippy cup when you're done."

She puts her hands on her hips. "No, either Daddy or you will get me a sippy cup, now."

I whipped my head around. "Excuse me?! What did you say?" I turned to her father, 'He Who Has Contributed The Genes' "What did she say? Did she just say what I thought she said?".

He startles a bit, "I wasn't listening, what?"

So I turn back to the child, whose new Indian name is 'She Whose Ass Is About to be Spanked' and said, "What did you say, child?" thinking, repeat that if you dare!

Hand still on hips, she clarifies, "Well, either you or Daddy will get me a sippy cup now!"

"Doh!" says the honey, and hides his face.

Now, at this point, I skipped 'Mildly Annoyed' 'Somewhat Pissed' and 'Red-Faced Screamer' and went straight to 'If I Get Up, I'm Going To Kill her' and state, very quietly, "If you repeat that tone, I am going to beat your ass! Now, don't say another word, because you do not talk to Mommy and Daddy like that. Get in the bathroom, right now and go potty on the potty chair, and when you're done, maybe I'll get you a drink, or maybe just water! Now move!"

She thinks about it for about half a second, and I start to put my foot rest down. She takes off running. I turn to her father, and said, "She must get that from your family. She sure as hell doesn't get it from mine." He just laughed, and said, "She sounds like you, through and through."

"I do not sound like that!" and I'm thinking her new Indian name is going to be, 'She Who Will Not Live To See Five.' Of course, that makes mine, 'She Whose Mother's Curse Worked.'