The Gated Community

My fourth child is willful. And very imaginative. And will be a holy terror when she becomes a teen-ager.

My 4 year old and her sister (2 years old) live inside what I call the "Gated Community." Outside of the gate, there is a decided lack of kid-mess, mischief, and mayhem. Outside of the gate, most things are no-nos, toys aren't allowed to be left lying on the floor, and tag is only allowed under certain circumstances. No throwing balls, no jumping on the couch, and no high-pitched girl screams. Outside of the gate, grown-ups live in a land of uncovered outlets and breakable items. And don't touch my shit. (Also, their clothes are kept in this area, because they dump everything out of their dressers and the prima donna would change clothes about 6 times a day or more if we let her.)

Inside the gated community, they can dump out their toy boxes, play in playhouses, squeal repeatedly. and cause chaos in general. Dolls are dressed, house is played, teddy bears are carried around like babies, and princess dresses are worn. Imaginary friends (that are named Monster) inhabit the room, which is child-proofed, with a TV playing Nick Jr, toys stored (initially anyway) in tubs, and no clean-up rules except at night. I really don't care if they carpet their floor with toys. And they do. Every day. They play in there most of the time, and I can't really blame them, it's a really cool room. And I don't touch their shit.

Unless the Mouth of Sauron (AKA the 4 year old) is requesting something on behalf of her sister (who refuses to communicate except with high-pitched girl screams) they usually play inside the "Gated Community." The 4-year old can climb the gate, and if the baby wants out, she usually just screeches for attention and someone comes running to do her bidding. And there is always someone available to do her bidding, she is the youngest of five kids after all.

Alas, inside of the "Gated Community" there is also no candy or food.

She ate a good dinner. She usually gets dessert, too. Last night, probably around the witching hours, my 4 year old decided she was hungry, and while her dad was sleeping and I was at work, she made her way over the gate, through the darkened living room, opened the other gate, and found the step-stool kitchen chair (slowly, she turned, step by step...) She pushed the chair next to the cabinet, climbed up onto the chair then the cabinet, and discovered a whole box of powdered-sugar donuts. She must have thought, "in for a penny, in for pound," (although not maybe in those exact words) because this little ... daring child then pushed the chair next to the refridgerator, climbed up on that cabinet, and found her Easter candy. She then returned to her room with her newly-discovered treasure and climbed back over the gate, placing her ill-gotten gains under her bed.

Thankfully, she is not yet adept at covering her tracks. I got home early in the morning, and I could tell right away that Someone Short had been into the cabinets. I was absolutely positive who it had been, since a) the baby doesn't yet understand the connection between cabinets and candy-slash-food, b) the littlest one could never make it over one gate, let alone manage the clasp on the second gate, and c) her dad can reach the cabinets just fine. You see, my criminal mastermind had left the chair pushed up against the fridge.

She initially denied it, which resulted in punishment-her dad yelled at her and put her in the corner while I was trying to keep from openly laughing in the other room. I know, I know, I shouldn't laugh, she broke several rules:
1. She is not allowed through the second gate without an adult because she can't close it.
2. She's not allowed to climb on the cabinets, and I don't need to tell you why.
3. She's not allowed to have candy without permission, (see above for reason)
4. And she's certainly not allowed to take food of any kind in her room.

She knows these rules. The rules never change. When I asked her if she knew why she was in trouble, she named the rules she had broken. She knows these rules, she just doesn't like them.

I was laughing because she was just so defiant about it. I asked her why she didn't just wake up her dad if she was hungry. She couldnt't give me a good answer, she just put her hands on her hips, and said, "Well, I was hungry." Hands on her hips! Really! And she couldn't have been that hungry. I dont think I could eat 10 powdered-sugar donuts, no matter how hungry I was.

I asked her why she didn't eat in the kitchen. If she had gotten the donuts and ate in the kitchen, well, that's what the donuts are for. She put her hands on her hips again, and said, "I wanted to share with Baby Sister." Good thought, but I asked her if she gave any to her sister, and she said that she was sleeping. Curiously, I asked if Baby Sister was sleeping when she went to get the food, and she said she was. There was no intent to share, I know it. She just came up with a good excuse. Which means she put some thought into this.

I asked her why she took the candy. This one stumped her. She said, "I don't know." Well I know, and it wasnt't about "hungry" - it was about control, all of it. She wants to get whatever she wants, when she wants it. And no gate will stop her. She is ... Toddler Terror!

I should probably add that we dont't starve our children, she's in the 70th percentile for weight, 90th for heighth. She eats four meals a day, plus snacks. She's neither over- nor under-weight. She eats healthy food and sugary snacks. They get chocolate milk, FCS! This isn't Animal Farm, or a third-world county. She eats well. So why did she take the food? Because she wanted to, that's why. And God help me when she becomes a teenager.