Party

My kid threw a party, and didn't even invite me. My four year old is currently on her way to visit her cousin for a week with Nana and Poppa. We were in a rush this morning, mainly because she had to be dropped off at such an early hour. When I got home, her dad was putting on her shoes. I took the dogs outside and come back in. My honey had some news for me.

"Uh, both the girls had something red on them when I got them up today. I thought at first it was blood, but then I realized it wasn't, and I think it might be fingernail polish."

Oh no! I thought, and ran over to the very high shelf where I had put the red fingernail polish after I had painted her fingernails yesterday. Shit! Gone. "Child, where is Mommy's nail polish?"

"Well, uh...well," she stalled, and put her head down. "I don't know." which is the standard answer when she doesn't want to say what happened, or admit culpability.

Her dad was understandably frazzled, since he had to drop her off at his mom's house and still make it to work on time. "Tell Mommy where it is now! I'm not dealing with this bullshit! Now where is it?"

"Well, I just wanted..." she starts.

"No! Go get the polish now!" he said, and of course (for him) she jumped right up and practically teleports to her bedroom. She went right to it, lifting the mattress and picking up the bottle from underneath it. I handed her dad the package of cookies from under her bed.

I start looking around and find a mermaid doll who looked like she had her hands amputated at the wrists, and started her period to boot. Evidently without a sanitary napkin in sight. Blood-red on fish scale plastic, super-gross! Who knew at 4 she could gut a fish. A blue ball had red swirls on it, and the wall-dear God the wall!- had a bright red-painted swirled element (Not artistically done, either!) Most of the stuffed animals I could see had red blobs near where their fingernails would be. Bright red curlicues on the mattress itself, on the sheets, blankets, pillows, and the mattress was canted off the bed like a slide. Dammit, I told her yesterday no slides. Does she ever listen to me?!? Evidently not. Fuck, is that a barbie or a murder victim?

Her dad got a hold of her, and applied a few decisive spanks to her bottom. Have you ever heard of trying to dress an octopus? Well, try turning one around to try to spank her! She was screaming even before she got a couple of spanks on, then they left to go to Nana's house.

The 2 year old was still eating breakfast, so I started cleaning. That's when I noticed the hourglass. We nave two of them, also kept in the living room, also on a high shelf. Well, I guess I should say, had two of them, because one was broken, with the sand spilled all over their room.

Three hours of cleaning. Vaccuuming, wiping down dolls with cleanser. The cheap toys just got thrown away, and all the bedclothes were thrown in the laundry. I don't think they'll ever really come clean. After scrubbing the polish off the window, sweeping the floors, and cleaning what toys I could, I just left the swirl on the wall. It'll have to be re-painted anyway to get rid of it.

By the time I got done, I was exhausted, and the baby wanted back in the room. She was standing at the gate crying because I couldn't let her in yet. When the sweeper would turn off, she would start singing to the songs on the TV, but she screamed again as soon I turned the vaccuum back on. Finally, it was done, and I let her back in the room.

Well, the 4 year old left too soon, I might have wanted to have a few words with her before Nana and Poppa took her on vacation! Maybe I should call her... A week is a very long time to wait.